*This was originally written on February of 2020*
For Christmas this year, one of gifts I gave Maisie was a note saying that we would go have tea at this incredibly adorable tea house in the next town over. Back in November, I had attempted to fulfill my daughter’s dreams of sipping tea with giant sugar cubes, but had failed to realize that a reservation was necessary.
Thankfully, our day was redeemed by a frozen winter queen #elsaforthewin, but, we still had hopes of enjoying a fancy lunch someday at “the special tea place." This time around I had learned my lesson and called ahead to confirm that a tiny space in that magical place would be reserved for us.
In the hours that led up to our mother daughter date, I decided to take a few moments to have some quiet time in my room. I sat down on my huge papasan chair that overlooks our front yard and casually grabbed my phone. I wanted to give myself a refresh of the menu at the tea place. Before I clicked into my search, I saw that I had a notification on Facebook. I opened the app and the first thing I saw pop up in my newsfeed made my breath stop. I froze. It was an update on the cancer journey of a college peer of mine, Cassie. I saw her name along with the word ‘hospice' and my heart sank. I hadn’t realized how aggressive her cancer was. As I read the update detailing her decision to spend her final weeks at home with her family, I wept. My eyes overflowed with tears and the words on the screen disappeared behind my sadness.
I didn’t known Cassie on the same level as many of her other friends and college classmates, but I knew she was a teacher, a wife, and a mother. She was a lovely person and my heart connected to what I did know of her. Just as the tears had slowly begun to dry on my cheeks, they were replaced with a fresh cascade of wetness as I began to lift up her family in prayer. I prayed they would feel God’s peace. I prayed they would feel His presence.
After I finished my prayer, I dried my face and tried to take a few deep cleansing breaths. My mind was still racing with trying to process all the new information about her prognosis. How hadn’t I realized her situation was so serious? And then it occurred to me that maybe I hadn’t known because she had specifically chosen to share things that were uplifting and encouraging. I quickly grabbed my phone and began to scroll back through all the updates her and her husband had posted over the past year. Every single one was full of positivity, love, and hope. They had intentionally chosen to use their circumstances as an outpouring of love and encouragement to others. An update about having a summer full of radiation treatments was explained by highlighting how thankful she was to have her two favorite little helpers in tow. Attention was drawn to the importance of spending time together, of being present. I hadn’t seen the sadness because they had chosen to share the light. A phrase that I saw repeated throughout the updates was, “Make someone smile.” Those three words became the cornerstone of her mission as she shared her journey with the world. She knew that her cancer diagnosis had in some ways shone a spotlight on her life so her and her husband decided they would point people to love.
I finished re-reading the posts on her page and made a quiet resolution in my heart to make someone smile. I do try to be a kind person in general, but one can always improve on themselves, right? My friend's story had given me fresh motivation to intentionally look for more opportunities to bring joy to others.
As I set my phone down and stood up to stretch, I glanced at the clock and realized it was nearly time for my date with Maisie. I quickly got myself ready and ran downstairs to proudly show her my “fancy tea-drinking” outfit. She had heard me bounding down the stairs and as we ran towards each other we squealed high pitched girly shrieks and jumped up and down. On the inside, part of my heart was still so heavy, but I was also feeling a great amount of anticipation to have a date with my daughter in front of me.
We made it to the restaurant and sipped almond coconut tea like delicate little ladies. While we were waiting for our food I suggested we play an alphabet game in which she had to name a friend whose name started with each letter. My incredible little girl almost made it through the entire alphabet naming person after person. Maisie is friends with just about everybody and that’s not an exaggeration. She asks the clerks at Walmart if they want to be her friend, she walks up to random kids at the park, unprovoked, and asks them if they want to play. When Seth and I took her to school for the annual “Back to School Night” in August, she literally called out to everyone by name as we passed them.
I often tell her that the way she invites people in and makes them feel special is one of her greatest gifts. So, seeing my opportunity to use this as a teachable moment, I made a comment to her that she knows so many people because she’s so kind. She smiled shyly and quietly took another sip of her tea. I think she knows that she’s friendly, but I don’t think she quite yet understands the impact she has on others. I’ve witnessed it myself when she’ll go running up to a kid who looks sad or out of place. She’ll shout out the child’s name in a welcoming greeting and envelope them in a giant hug. I’ve seen her lift the spirits of another and change their mood in an instant.
And then it hit me. My kid makes people smile every.single.day. Sure, she’s not perfect by any means (none of us are). But wow, here I was hours beforehand making resolutions to myself to be kinder, and my kid is the friendliest person I’ve ever met. She's Anna from Frozen, Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony, and Mr. Rogers on a sugar high. In trying to make a more concerted effort to be kind, I was making that resolution as a way of honoring my friend. But this moment with my daughter made me realize that I can also share my friend’s life phrase with the world by pouring myself into fostering this raw and genuine kindness in my kid. Maisie makes people smile every day. And if I can come alongside her and nurture the gift God has given her, imagine how many people could be touched by Maisie’s kindness.
Only seven days after my fancy tea date with Maisie, Cassie entered the Kingdom of Heaven. I cried when I heard the news and I continued to lift up her family in prayer throughout the days that followed. Thoughts of her and her family drifted through my thoughts as I prayed and processed all that had occurred. One evening as I was listening to music while washing some dishes, something was making me think about Cassie. There was a tidbit there, something from the song that God wanted to draw my attention to. A specific line in the chorus kept pulling at my heart and made my mind pause.
“You take what the enemy meant for evil, and You turn it for good.”
I contemplated what that line is supposed to mean and then suddenly I froze.
Cancer. Death. Leaving loved ones too early. All earthly things that cause us grief and sorrow. But Jesus took death and conquered it. He turned it for good. Because now Cassie is healed. She is whole. She is with Jesus.
Cassie’s story has changed the way I see the world. It’s changed the way I see my kids. Be thankful for every day you have because each and every one is a gift. Go out and intentionally choose to shine light in the world. Be kind. And make someone smile.
Blessings,
Shanna MacKenzie
