I no longer have a concept for the difference between day and night. I used to rarely take naps and if I did it had to be at a time that made sense for the rest of the day. Now I’m finding myself awake at 3:45a.m. and taking a nap at 6:00p.m. I think so far in this whole motherhood to a newborn thing the lack of sleep is the only part that is not very magical. Ok, getting puked on while nursing and literally feeling the warmth run down your back isn’t very magical either. However, I knew what I was signing up for. The only part I wish us moms could change about it though is how delirious you feel at times. I’ve had moments in the middle of the night when I’m changing Grace’s diaper and I feel like a sleepless zombie just going through the motions. I’ve caught myself having to stop for a second and just look at her. If I can get myself to stop and look at her big mesmerizing eyes, I snap out of my zombie-like state and remember why I’m doing all this. I’m her momma, and she needs me to take care of her. Would I trade my Gracie for eight consecutive hours of sleep? Never.
So, how do we solve our lack of sleep problems? Some of the best advice I have gotten is that familiar phrase that most first-time moms hear, “You sleep when the baby sleeps.” I went into my life with Grace with that mentality in mind but making that advice a reality is much more challenging than I realized. You have to time the feedings out perfectly in order to get even an hour of sleep. The second she is done nursing I have to lay down otherwise there simply won’t be enough time before her next feeding. It’s also challenging at times to give myself permission to lie down in the middle of the day and sleep. Since I’m staying home with Gracie all day I feel like it’s my responsibility to keep the house clean and organized. I’m slowly realizing that taking care of a three-week old is a full-time job by itself. However, even in the moments when I do convince myself to stop and nap while Gracie is snoozing, it still doesn’t guarantee that I will actually get to sleep. All you moms out there know exactly what it feels like to finally get the baby to sleep, let yourself sink down into your warm bed, and 10 seconds later hear your little one explode something awful in her diaper and know that your nap is now on hold indefinitely. Even though these moments can send my brain into a whole new level of delirium, thankfully my maternal instincts kick in when I think about how helpless this tiny little life is and how much she depends on me to give up my nap and change that stinky mess.
Another piece of advice I have received from many moms is to enjoy every moment because babies grow up fast. We all know Gracie isn’t going to stay 7lbs 10oz forever. For many moms it is hard to see their babies grow up and not be little anymore. Even though there is definitely a part of my heart that desperately wants her to stay this tiny adorable little bundle, I can also sincerely say I’m excited for her to grow up. I want to experience all the stages of life with her. I daydream about what it will feel like when she hugs me for the first time and what her voice will sound like when she laughs. In order to experience any of these things, she has to get bigger and I have to be ok with it.
The only way I will be able to silence the part of my heart that wants her to stay little forever is if I seriously just stop and live in each moment. It’s true. The dishes can wait. The dishes will be there tomorrow just as dirty as they are today. What won’t be the same tomorrow is my baby. She will be one day older.
My favorite times with Grace so far have been the moments when I have remembered to stop and be present with her. Yesterday I literally said out loud to Seth, “Ok, while you’re gone at the store I’m going to see if I can get the kitchen in order.” Then as I was walking by Gracie who was squirming around on one of her fuzzy blankets I abruptly did a one-eighty and plopped myself down on the floor next to her. While Sethwas gone I didn’t even step foot in the kitchen, instead I played with my little girl. I kissed her hands and snuggled her close to me. In this new journey of being a parent, I know in moments like these I will never regret letting the dishes sit in the sink.
Did you get any advice as a first-time parent?
Blessings,
Shantastic
No comments:
Post a Comment