In college I was walking on campus with one of my friends and we saw a mom and her toddler walk by. I immediately erupted into girly shrieks of, “Ohmygosh that baby is SOOOO cute!!!” My friend laughed, shrugged her shoulders and gestured towards the kid as she said, “Isn’t it funny? That does nothing for me.”
Every time I see a baby I always have that same reaction. All I want to do is squish their little cheeks and give them snuggles. When I found out I had to pick an emphasis for my elementary education degree I didn’t even have to think about my decision. It was automatic. I read through the list where I found choices like middle school math and then I came across ‘Preprimary: Birth-6th Grade’. Who would want to be doing math equations when you could be playing with a baby? I was sold.
I have always been a conscientious student so going into motherhood I felt like I had a wealth of knowledge and experience I could pour into my new life with my little one. There have been times in our six weeks with Grace that I have known exactly what to do. I’ve felt like Supermom solving all the problems and putting out the fires. However, I knew my “powers” had their limitations and that I would undoubtedly experience situations that would render me clueless. Gracie has definitely stumped me many times!
One area they completely left out of our college-level curriculum was the gross stuff. Yes, I’m going to talk about baby poop now and my utter lack of experience with it. Once Grace stopped having the newborn tar-like poop, I expected her first big stinky would be green or yellow. As I peeled back her diaper the question that immediately popped into my head was, “Why does it look like my baby just pooped out a pumpkin?” A little Google research taught me that when it comes to baby poop, yellow, green and orange are all on the table.
It’s also safe to say that I am no expert when it comes to baby bodily fluids. I was clueless on the poop and I also had no idea what a normal amount of spit up was. One day I texted Seth asking him how far vomit had to fly for it to be considered, “projectile”. I logged onto the always-reliable Internet and did a quick definition search. It said that projectile means the puke flies a couple feet in the air and hits the wall or furniture completely missing mom and baby. So in this case it was actually a good thing that I had partially digested breast milk running down the entire right side of my body. My baby doesn’t have projectile vomit. Yay!
Gracie is also educating me in the many forms of newborn bodily functions. I seriously had no idea babies fart so much! And she farts with the force of a grown man. She has no shame and it’s hilarious. There have been many instances when we have had guests over, Gracie lets one rip, and everyone laughs and glances around trying to see who is going to own up to farting in public. I usually wait a second for dramatic effect and then rat Gracie out by pointing to her. Everyone always gives me a look of shock and says, “No way! That was her?!”
Just like every new mom, I’m learning as I go. I love the times when I get to be Supermom but I am also learning to embrace the teachable moments. Have I already called the pediatrician about something that turned out to be no big deal? Yes. Do I now consider myself a master at creating the perfect swaddle? Sure. Am I still prepared to be completely and utterly clueless half the time? Absolutely.
What did you feel clueless about?
Blessings,
Shantastic
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