Seth and I now live in a world where we are waiting for our entire lives to change. Everyday
we wake up and think, “Will this be the day that everything changes?” Braxton
Hicks has decided to make a permanent residence in my belly, which has left
Seth and I questioning if every cramp and contraction is the real thing or
just our old friend Braxton. For about a week I have been getting mild to
moderate period-like cramps. I read that if you are feeling a contraction and when you lay down it gets better then it's just a Braxton Hicks one. Apparently when you start feeling the real thing there's nothing you can do to get it to go away! The other night I was feeling the most intense contractions I have to date. Seth was on the couch and I started to walk over to him to have him feel how tight my belly was. It was the first time I actually thought I might be having a real contraction. Then as I was almost to the couch I remembered the laying down trick so I shouted, "Wait! I have an idea!" and just dropped to the floor in the fetal position. The cramping and tightening instantly subsided and as we laughed at my ungraceful technique we knew it must not be time yet.
I’ve also been having hunger pains like a
pubescent teenage boy. So I guess what we can learn from this is that the last
few weeks of pregnancy are very much the same as having PMS. Except it lasts
longer than a couple days and you don’t just “feel” fat, you have gained a good 25-30 pounds (at least) and
are carrying around the proof in your belly. At this point a little food
therapy indulgence just might be necessary. Please pass the Doritos.
I’m
apprehensive to call anyone these days because I don’t want them to get excited
and think I’m calling because it’s baby time. I tried sending my mom a warning
text telling her I was about to call but it’s not about the baby. It didn’t
work because she said all she saw was the word baby and started freaking out
anyways. I feel the same anxiousness even though I am trying to contain it for
my own sanity’s sake. On Tuesday I went grocery shopping and thought that with
the way life goes sometimes it would make the most sense for my water to break
there, right in aisle seven while I’m picking out cereal. I think that’s a
legitimate worry for most full term pregnant women. Of course we have no
control over it, but it would still be mortifying! Sorry, grown woman who looks like I've just peed my pants here! I’ve tried my best to
prepare for a public surprise by having my overnight hospital bag in my trunk
since the beginning of August.
Even
though I get more excited everyday to meet our little one, I’m enjoying being a
stay-at-home who is preparing for a baby. It’s been a huge blessing to feel
like I have time to get every little thing ready. During my first week of being
home I didn’t allow myself to take breaks because I didn’t want to be lazy. If
my husband is out in the world working all day, how can I justify laying around
on the couch in my sweats? I caught myself making lists of all the tasks I had
completed so that I could prove I had been productive. This week I have finally
realized that God has given me a gift and I need to take advantage of it. I’ve
been given the gift of rest and I need to balance my need to be productive with
the relaxation my body is craving.
When
I go out I’ve noticed that when women smile at me as they walk by they give me one of two very distinct looks. The first look is from the women who have a smile that
reaches their eyes and you can almost feel their heart bursting with maternal
love. It’s as if they want to shout, “OH YAY! You’re pregnant! Isn’t it the
most magical thing you’ve ever experienced?!” Then there are the other women
who smile without showing their teeth and I swear they are trying to tell me telepathically, “I know you think you’re really uncomfortable, but you have no
idea. You’re in for a world of pain sucker!” After I become a member of the
mommy club I hope I can look at other pregnant women with the maternal joy and not
feel the urge to tell them telepathically how painful it is going to be!
As
I enter my 39th week of pregnancy I’ll try to put down the Doritos
and bust out the celery. I’ll continue to put up with my old pal Braxton and
walk around public places with a little bit of fear that I will leak bodily
fluids on the floor. And most of all, I’ll just keep waiting for my life to
change.
What was it like for you when you were almost at the end and had to keep waiting?
Blessings,
Shantastic :)
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