The
last few weeks have been a bit of a blur. That’s why week 34 and 35 are melding
together. I’ve been a combination of busy, tired and hot for the last two
weeks. There were times when I literally didn’t know what day it was. I’ve had, baby showers, birthday parties, birthing class and a minor
case of insomnia. I’ve been so tired during the day, but then when it comes
time to finally sink into my bed all I can do is think about all the things I
have on my to do list. I also can’t stop thinking about little one and our
future. I’ve been having difficulty falling asleep and then waking up two to three
times to eat and go to the ladies' room. It's definitely made me into the “growing
a human being is really hard” woman a few times during waking hours. (I reference that woman in this post Week 29: Hoping to end with a sneeze") This is all just preparing me for many sleepless nights ahead right? On the
more positive side I’ve also been feeling a stronger bond with the baby. Could
it be the overflow of crazy lady pregnancy emotions or my body gearing up to be
a mommy? Either way, when I feel kicks, my heart just melts and I imagine
kissing those little feet in a few short weeks!
It’s
finally really starting to hit me that baby is coming soon. For the last month
I’ve been saying it out loud but on the inside I’ve been too distracted with life
and getting everything ready. Now my heart is starting to feel it. I get so
mesmerized and distracted when baby is moving around because now he/she isn’t
just this little alien-looking sesame seed anymore. This little person would have a strong
chance of survival if he/she were born today! When baby is moving I don’t feel
just random jolts anymore. Now I can pick out if it was a punch or a little leg
flick. It makes it more real that there is a unique person in there!
The
entire pregnancy I have been just so curious to know who this person is. One of
the phrases I keep saying over and over out loud to myself is, “Who are you
baby? I want to know who you are.” That goes beyond knowing the gender. I want
to know what will make this person unique. How will my DNA mix with Seth's to create our baby?
If
you know my brother and me then you know that my parents’ DNA was molded
together very differently for both of us. Eric is the fun-loving extrovert and
I’m the ‘quiet until you get to know me’ introvert. When I was little I looked
like a little clone of my dad’s baby pictures. The only difference was my frizzy blonde ringlets. It’s often been a joke in our family that Eric doesn’t really look like either one of my parents. It just proves when you mix two peoples’ genetic data you never
really know what you’re going to get!
When we were little we often walked to daycare together after school. A boy from his class was following behind us and calling him names. He was trying so hard to get
my brother to react. Eric just kept looking straight ahead as he walked next
to me. He had been taught that fighting was not the solution, so he gritted his
teeth and kept moving forward. Then the boy decided maybe he could upset my
brother if he made fun of me instead. I used to wear glasses that magnified my
eyes so I got teased a lot growing up. Eric probably saw my huge eyes starting
to well up with tears. He immediately froze, threw his backpack to the ground,
and marched over to the boy. I have no idea what words they exchanged. All I
remember is seeing my brother push him face first into the snowbank. I normally
wouldn’t support physical violence, but in this case, a nice refreshing burst
of snow might be just what that kid needed.
When
my kid starts going to school will he/she stand up to bullies? Or will my child
be the one getting made fun of? Little one could fall into one of these categories or be something completely different. Certain things in life just speak to
us. For my brother, he was willing to just ignore the bully until the kid came after someone he loves. That was what spoke to him. What will
my kids be convicted about? What will they be passionate about? I’m just so excited
to know and to love them no matter who they turn out to be.
The
heat wave hasn’t left us yet and I am thankful everyday to work in a space that
has air conditioning. The other day my pastor told me that he had told Seth how I looked like I had the pregnancy “glow.” I laughed and told him it was
probably just sweat.
Did you ever dream about who your child will grow up to be?
Blessings,
Shantastic :)
Did you ever dream about who your child will grow up to be?
Blessings,
Shantastic :)
I always wondered if my boys were going to be bullied or not. So far, we've only had one incident and I did something right away. I have tried to teach my boys the same as I was taught...which was turn the other cheek and roll it off your back. But, it really does help to have a protective older sibling!! I have a very similar story to you and Derek's, but with my brother Mike. He was in high school and drove himself, but heard that I was getting bullied on the bus by an older kid so he came on the bus with me one morning and did much like Derek did...a few heated words and a head bouncing off a seat was just what the kid needed because he never picked on me again. You never encourage violence, but you want your kids to stick up for themselves and their loved ones at the same time.
ReplyDeleteZoey, I can't even tell you how many countless hours I have spent daydreaming about who this person will be! I saw a funny quote about older siblings the other day, it said something like "Older siblings: The only people in the world who can make fun of you at your own expense, and beat up anyone else who tries" I laughed so hard because there was some truth to it. I wasn't an angel to him though either :) But I'll always remember that day he stood up for me. Like you said, I never want to encourage my children to be violent and cause fights, but at the same time I am glad he stood up to the kid and hopefully taught him a lesson.
ReplyDelete