My Baby is totally a control freak

Date day. That positively glorious moment in time where someone else watches your children so you can have an uninterrupted conversation with your spouse. It’s simply… beautiful. 

A few weeks ago, Seth and I were enjoying one of these miracle days. And to top it off we were doing one my favorite things in the world. Exploring. We had just gotten coffee from a place I had never heard of and as we casually strolled the busy blocks to our next destination, we got to talk to each other. Like actually have an intelligent conversation talk. Sure, we try talking to each other all the time but our two little beings like to make it nearly impossible. Many times our more important conversations have to wait until the kids are in bed for the night. My anecdotes and bits that I think are super clever get interrupted so many times that it’s no longer amusing anymore at all. (Or maybe they were never amusing to begin with…either way, there’s interruption. And that’s annoying) So on this particular date, we got to talk in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY. <magical birds begin chirping and light piano music plays softly in the background>

As we walked and sipped, I can’t remember exactly what I was saying but I was telling some funny story (probably hilarious) about how my daughter is EXACTLY like my husband. Their similarities are so loud and obvious that it’s easy to point them out. He always chuckles and shakes his head because he knows he can’t deny my accusations. 

When I thought about having kids, I naively assumed they would be like me. Even though I know how DNA works, I somehow completely forgot to include my husband into this equation. I think that was partially why I was so surprised by my firstborn aka the most extroverted person I’ve ever met. No, I do not want to talk to every single stranger in the grocery store about your birthday party from FIVE months ago. Seriously, how are you my kid? Grocery stores are for staring at your list and NOT talking to complete strangers. 

But then, right as I thought my jokes to my husband were going to go without rebuttal, he teasingly turned his head toward me and said with a smirk, “You know, you’re always joking about how Grace is exactly like me…but I’m not stubborn, and she is. So where could she have gotten that from, hmm?” I froze in mid-stride in the middle of the sidewalk and just gawked at him with complete surprise. But, as the realization that he was right began to formulate in my brain, my face morphed into a scoffing display of “Well…uhhh. Yeah SO!” After a few more seconds I was able to produce a sentence that said something like, “Well… I can’t really deny that statement because then it will just prove your point that I AM stubborn.” I can’t be stubborn about admitting the fact that I’m stubborn. Dang it. 

After my husband knew he had gotten me, he continued to laugh and said, “You two are more alike than you realize.” I tilted my head as I let that idea slosh around in my brain. Wait a second. Is that why we are always butting heads on everything?? I thought it was because she’s just SO darn particular about EVERY little thing that it drove me nuts. But maybe it drives me nutballs because I too, am particular…about everything. 

Cue the moment when the control freak realizes she has spawned a control freak.

Once this preverbal light bulb went off in my brain it finally shed some light on why we had such a hard time during her toddler years. (See the post about that here --->) She is such a perfectly mixed concoction of my husband and me, but because she is still a child, her traits are unrefined and wild. I’ve learned over the years to tame my controlling tendencies and am now perfect and completely easy to live with. (You know I’m kidding right?) But you get the point. My husband and I have had our whole lives to practice self regulation, self discipline, and learning to let little things go. She, has not. 

I remember once she got so upset with me because I wouldn’t let her bring 5,000 of her toys over to grandma and grandpa’s house. Exaggeration? Maybe. But she really did try climbing into the car with two purses, 3 stuffed animals, a pair of sunglasses, toy phone, toy camera and princess high heels. In a fit of exasperation I told her that she simply could NOT bring that much stuff with her. It was ridiculous. 

However, after Seth very gingerly pointed out that Grace and I have our own similarities too, I caught myself leaving for a family dinner at my in-laws house with my giant owl purse, water bottle, coffee thermos, kindle, crochet needles, yarn, and slippers…crap. All that stuff was important to me to have. Perhaps all her toys were just as important to her. My experience had taught me to simply throw all my things in a large shoulder bag, whereas she was trying to carry everything (and therefore drop everything) with her hands. 

I love her for the things we have in common and for the areas that make me use the scary angry voice in my head. And next time, since I know it’s important to her, I might just have to let her bring all that silly stuff (aka priceless treasures) over to grandma’s. I’ll just be sure to give her a bag first.

Do you have any strangely similar traits with your kid too? Does it make you laugh..or drive you totally crazy?  I started an Instagram account @TotallyShantastic so please connect with me over there or leave a comment below! :) 

Blessings,

Shantastic