Our 20 week ultrasound is coming up on Friday. This is the infamous week in which the sex of the baby can now be determined. Brendon and I decided that we want to be surprised. To be honest, I’m a little shocked that I want to wait. I have a classic “teacher/planner” personality so it really doesn’t make sense that I want to surrender my 'masterful' planning abilities and jump into motherhood with a big surprise. The good news: it will be a fantastic surprise either way.
However, wanting to know does drive me crazy sometimes…Will we be clothing our little one in t-rex dinosaur onesies or putting butterfly hair clips in her tiny wisps of baby hair?
I definitely have some stereotypical thoughts floating around in my head about the difference between boys and girls. Boys equal playing in the mud and wrestling in the living room; girls mean princess tea parties and Barbie play dates. Right?
I may have some of these thoughts because I happened to be a “stereotypical” little girl (When I was four I refused to leave the house unless I was wearing a skirt and tights) but that doesn’t mean our child will be. We could have a boy who hates getting dirty (cough)Seth(cough) or a tomboy girl who refuses to even touch the color pink. Either way we will love our unique one-of-a-kind child to pieces: dinosaurs or butterflies!
I also have some preconceived notions about which gender is easier to raise because of my teaching experience. Statistically, my more challenging students were boys. They just couldn’t sit still! However, as kids grow up and the daunting journey of puberty begins, I'm sure girls become the more difficult gender. The phrase that already has me terrified that I will one day hear is my teenage daughter shouting, “Mom, you just don’t understand!”
We’ve narrowed down some favorite names for each sex but we both really feel like we want to meet our little one before giving him/her a name. We're just saving everything to the end I guess! Honestly, we also don’t want to share our favorites and have people crinkle their nose and say, “ohhhh…that’s nice….”
I prepared my mom for this by coaching her and saying that if she absolutely hates the name we choose she must keep her feelings to herself. A few weeks ago Seth played a prank on my parents by saying we had decided on a boy name. Seth quickly winked at me and said, “If it’s a boy, Elmer Rupert!” He knew my mom would hate it. My dad played it cool like always and my mom gave an honorable performance. She slightly paused, caught her breath, then smiled and nodded. When we burst out laughing it was the sign she had been hoping for. Now knowing it was all a joke she exploded from her chair with her hands up in the air and shouted, “Thank Goodness!!”
I signed up for free “Baby Wellness” text messages and I just got one that said, “You’re halfway there!” Halfway?? Only Half? It feels like the first half has gone by very slowly. Intense anticipation makes time slow down! A whole week has to go by and we only get to count up “one”?! I’m only at 20 and we have to get all the way to 40? Baby, I want to meet you!
I can only fit into one pair of my jeans now. Please don’t judge me for wearing them 6 out of 7 days of the week.
Confession time:
The 20-week ultrasound is traditionally when you find out if the development of your baby is looking “normal and healthy.” There is a little part of me fighting being fearful that we might find out something is “wrong.” For the most part I’ve been pretty calm and optimistic but all the enemy needs to do is knock us off balance just a little and plant that tiny little fearful thought in our heads. We usually do the rest of the work by letting the fear take over. I’m trying to fix my eyes only on Him, the Creator, the One who this baby belongs to.
Moms and Dads out there: Did you find out the sex of you baby before giving birth? Did you want to be surprised? Why?
As my mom always said when I told her I was worried about the health of our child (we didn't have test done as I believed that God would not give me anything I would not be able to handle even if it was a long tough road) even if your baby is not healthy, he/she is still your child and you will love them as though they are perfect!
ReplyDeleteDylan and I found out the sex but kept it a secret from everyone else! (easier than I thought and quite fun)
Holland
Hey Shan!
ReplyDeleteI love this blog! Just wanted to give you my 2cents :) We found out we were having a little boy at 20 weeks. I could NOT have waited the whole time, the suspense was killing me! I can tell you that through watching my neice grow up and then raising a little boy myself, they are VERY different. My son is crazy! Loves to do daredevil things, scream, run around the house naked, NOT cuddle, and pick his nose (that may be all children). Whereas my neice is such a cuddle bug, loves to wear skirts and try on her moms dresses, is so sweet and shy. Both are so fun though! Having a child has made me experience a love that I never even thought was possible. I am SOOO happy for you guys and love the blog!
P.S. If you haven't read "Belly Laughs"...do it. It's hilarious.
Ashlee Kendall
Holland-I was tempted to do your idea of just Brendon and me finding out and keeping it a secret, but I know it would drive Brendon even more crazy to know and not be able to tell people :) He barely made it with waiting to tell people until we heard the heartbeat! We've chosen not to have any genetic testing done as well because like you said, this child is a gift that God has given us and it won't affect how much we love and adore him/her!
ReplyDeleteShlee-You can give me all your cents if you want :) I loved hearing your thoughts! The way you described your niece and your son sound exactly like what I keep picturing in my head! The girl is all full of cuddles and the boy just wants to run around all over the place! Brendon's mom has told me that he was a very typical boy in some ways and not in others. He loved all the wrestling/action figures stuff but he HATED getting dirty. She said if he spilled something on his shirt he would have a meltdown and have to change haha So I guess you really just never know what you're gonna get! I'll have to look up that book. Maybe they have it at the library! :)
I love reading about your exploits here. I'm in tears remembering being pregnant and the happiness Kevin and I had. Relish every single second you have before the baby shows up. You can never get these moments back. Just love each other and enjoy. As for determining the sex, for our first one, we couldn't find out. "She" was hiding. For our second one, we knew David was on his way. It was nice to know, but getting that surprise at birth, nothing, I mean NOTHING beats it. I've always said not knowing is better. But I know so many new moms have to know. I don't buy it. Let it be a surprise. How many true surprises do we get in life? Let God be the one to surprise you.
ReplyDeleteOn the subject of names......you probably already know David has already named your baby David. Boy or girl!! He's hilarious! And SO excited for you both. hugs and blessings! Cheryl Kormann